Keeping Freedom(?) Alive

This is an opinion piece [Fictitious] written from the perspective of a middle-class person living in Pakistan of a particular ethnicity. This is based on lived experiences and it draws a parallel with Kenyetta trying to hold onto traditions of exploitation in the name of 'culture,' and opposing the imperial powers. At some point, many people in their hate and desire to oppose an oppressive force romanticize and attach to another one, simply because that is one of their 'own.'

"In December 2007, all I had was anger. Anger against the powers that had always been, a raging desire to get out there and vandalize property of those who caused me no harm, to burn tires on the road and make life difficult for others. Then, nothing mattered except anger, I identified with my regional identity that day like no other day. The hate I felt for another ethnic group that day scares me today, how could it be that way?  

My years of opposition to her did not matter to me anymore, despite being so critical of her party's corruption, exploitation and patronage I was blinded by this rage - she was still one of our own. What angered me the most was that why did it always have to be us? Why not Nawaz or Shaikh or Elahi or General sahib? Why doesn't anyone else die in pindi? The personal offense I took that day is incomparable to any other day. I took ownership of a person whom I have disliked and attacked my entire life, whose policies I never aligned with and yet I am consumed by grief. I want to be free of this grief, but It's as if my path to this freedom is to see another in grief, I just want them to feel what I felt. If they feel it, perhaps it won't happen to myself or my kin again? I can perhaps then move beyond the bounded idea of those who I associate to be my 'kin' in the first place.

It's as if the rules of the game are skewed, the worst of us die brutal deaths and worst of them live long successful lives and I am angry at the rules of the game and not at the terrible players of the game. I hate myself for being able absolve someone in my heart because of their fate, I can not do so in my head but the heart always gives in."

Kenyetta defended female genital mutilation (FGM) because it was under attack by imperial forces and he could not conceptualize anything but fighting back against any colonial act. The parallel drawn above obviously can not compare to colonial exploitation, but is an interesting way to look at how people cling on to ideas and/or people because they as a group feel attacked by an oppressive force. The unfairness of another actor makes one lose sight the unfairness of your own, fighting the over arching force becomes the main focus. Is it really freedom when to attain the idea of freedom we end up clinging onto something which is not-freedom for someone else. To be truly free is to perhaps blur the line between yourself and this someone. The yearning for freedom in the hate for the other is hardly freedom, merely a way to keep the thought alive.